


Commandments

by eadunne2



Category: Actor RPF, Captain America (Movies) RPF
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Hair Pulling, Kissing, M/M, Sex, Sexual Tension, hair play, little angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 11:51:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4834289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eadunne2/pseuds/eadunne2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Thou shalt not fall in love with Sebastian.</i> <br/>He makes it a rule even though he’s already broken it.<br/>He needs a reminder that it’s his own damn fault his heart is breaking. That he knows better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Commandments

**Author's Note:**

> Carpebucky.tumblr.com posted something about this and I was all "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaasss". So. Here.
> 
> If RPF isn't your jam, don't read this. No disrespect intended to the humans in this story.

Chris has his own commandments, of sorts. He’s not much for religion, but he gets rules, why they’re important, and when his anxiety weighs too heavy, sometimes having a prescribed reaction makes things easier. 

_Thou shalt not get drunk with Sebastian._

One too many fucking times, goddamn it. The occasional cocktail or four before an event can help the cameras seem less intimidating, keep his throat from closing up. But by themselves? He’s almost kissed Seb one too many times, and he knows that sin would be unforgivable. Which brings him to the next one.

 _Thou shalt not touch Sebastian_. 

This one has a little more room for error, because he can’t _never_ touch Seb, the lack of contact would be more suspicious than lingering contact. Chris is a touchy guy, he knows it, other people know it, but it’s been getting harder and harder to let go of Seb’s shoulder, or keep his hand there without sweeping down to the curve of his lower back, or up and into his hair.

The mere thought of that makes him shiver. Winding his fingers into the strands, brushing a wisp of it out of Seb’s eyes...the need makes him ache, but Chris is a professional at pretending by now, so he just smiles tightly and clenches his fists and hopes beyond hope that no one will notice.

_Thou shalt not fall in love with Sebastian._

He makes it a rule even though he’s already broken it.

He needs a reminder that it’s his own damn fault his heart is breaking. That he knows better.

He needs a reminder because not only is Seb so fucking beautiful, but they’ve been spending more time together lately, and even though it causes Chris physical pain, he can’t, won’t, would never say no to that man. Spending time with Sebastian is like coming home via going on a road trip, adventures and laughter and feeling so right and so light and so terrified that he can hardly breathe for it.

Their publicists make sure they’re never seen together in public because, in a bitter twist of fate, people already think they’re dating. Ha. But there’s no one to stop them from spending time together in private, which they do often when Seb can spare the time, though it’s happening less and less these days.

When they’d met, Seb had spoken self-deprecatingly about his abilities and his acting history in general (like Chris’s had been any better). Chris, on the other hand, had known from the first chemistry read that the kid was one good opportunity away from a whirlwind career. He had that _thing_ , you know? That magic. Magnetic, and just like Chris, the rest of the world was now susceptible to his sweetness, his talent, his sheer, unparalleled beauty.

And Chris is pretty sure he’s gonna fuck it up, big time.

“You ok?” Seb asks from behind the counter where he’s tossing vegetables in a pan. They just spent the past hour preparing food and giving each other shit, and Chris’s sides ache a little from laughing so hard, but in the silence, Seb had been giving him sideways glances and he’s given up trying to figure out if he’s got crap on his face or food on his shirt or whatever. 

“Yeah man, fine. Why do you ask?” Chris responds, swiping the plate of burger patties from the fridge and slipping out the screen door to the patio to the grill. He smiles at the sizzling sound of the meat on heated metal, so satisfying, but when he looks up, Seb is leaning in the door frame, arms folded and frowning. “What?”

“You’re full of shit.” 

“I…” As always, Seb is right. But what the fuck is he supposed to say? 

“Pisses me off when you do that, man,” Sebastian mutters, turning back inside. Weight shifts heavy over Chris’s stomach and lungs. The whole point of this bullshit charade is to keep from hurting Sebastian, and he can’t even do that right. But he’s not about to ruin their friendship, not when that man is the most important thing in his whole damn life. 

_”What if he wants you too?”_ It’s a dumb question. He doesn’t. Chris is pretty sure Seb’s bi, but he’s also brilliant and gifted and sex on legs, and Chris is just…

The dude with anxiety. Simple. Straightforward. No match for the exquisite complexity that Sebastian embodies effortlessly. 

When they reconvene in the kitchen, food laid out around them at the table, Seb drops into the chair next to him and presses their thighs together instead of taking the seat across, and Chris has a tiny heart attack, but Seb’s been like this lately, touchy-feely. Chris thinks it’s because work is chaotic and he needs and anchor, and Chris is happy to be that touchstone. Honored that Seb chose him.

“Mackie sent me that picture of you guys on your trip. Looks like you had fun.” His voice is a little tight and Chris wonders if he put too much crushed red pepper in the burger seasoning.

“Yeah, it was a awesome. Much needed. Fucking great rock climbing, really beautiful scenery, not a goddamn person for miles.”

Seb sighs. “Sounds nice.” Chris gets the impression he’s talking about the no people part, but he’s still pumped about the trip, so he continues.

“It was. It’s crazy how bright the stars are out there, and the colors in the water, in the woods...You feel so small, humbled. It was just...it was great.”

“Good.” This time Sebastian smiles, and broadly. “I’m glad.” Something about his vocal inflection suggests he has something more to say, and since Chris’s mouth is full of burger he just twitches an eyebrow at him, encouraging him to continue. “Just...it’s cool. How excited you get about that stuff. How you’re famous now, could do anything, buy anything, and you still choose to go camping with your best friend. It’s great, man.” He’s got a look bordering on reverence hovering about his face and it throws Chris off so much he says, “Mackie’s not my best friend.”

Great, Evans. That’s the thing to say.

“No?” Sebastian asks, and he doesn’t seem concerned with Chris’s weirdness. Part of his charm, Chris thinks.

“No. You are. Duh, dipshit.” He has to make it a joke. If he’s serious he’ll fall apart. Seb socks him in the arm.

“Ow.”

“Idiot.”

They end up on the couch watching that Neil DeGrasse Tyson Cosmos show because Seb is an adorable fuckin’ dork, and Chris has to give the show props, he’s still fascinated, even with Seb sitting in pajamas next to him, which is quite a feat. 

Which is not to say that Chris isn’t paying attention to Sebastian. 

He’d offered to go home, but Sebastian had just called him a jackass and told him to crash on the couch, then offered him some clothes to sleep in, so Chris is wearing a pair of Seb’s basketball shorts and a tee that actually fits him now that Seb’s been bulking up lately. 

That in itself is causing some issues. 

Sebastian is dressed in loose grey sweatpants and a black tanktop, and Chris can see the lines of muscle wrapping his shoulders, even more pronounced than before. The cords of his neck manage somehow to be both masculine and delicate, and Chris wants to taste them. Worst of all though, his hair is falling loose and soft, escaped from its tie when they’d gotten changed, and the way the dark strands caress his ears, his neck, the way Seb sweeps his hands back through it, it’s fucking art.

Two episodes in, Chris has his feet up on the coffee table, wedged comfortably into the corner of the couch and Sebastian just slides right down and curls up, resting his cheek on Chris thigh. 

Shit.

Now what? He smells perfect, soap and faint cologne and shampoo and Seb, that smell that’s just him, and Chris is only a man, and not a very good one at that, and without thinking, he drops his hand to Seb’s hair and brushes a strand back from his temple with trembling fingers.

Sebastian doesn’t yell at him, in fact, he sighs softly, vulnerable in a way that he never is with anyone else, and the dam breaks inside Chris’s chest. This time he uses his fingertips to comb through the soft locks, pressing firmly into Sebastian’s scalp in small, backwards circles. He works his way across, gently running his hands wherever he can reach, and Sebastian look beyond relaxed, but his breathing, while deep, isn’t slow, and Chris can tell he’s not sleepy. 

“Feels nice,” Seb murmurs into the fabric of his own shorts. 

“Good,” Chris chokes out, not stopping just in case Seb gets his wits back and chases him out of the apartment. 

“I love...this. Here. With you.”

Chris knows the hitch in his breath is audible, but he manages to say, “Me too, Seb. Nowhere I’d rather be.”

Sebastian stirs then, and Chris wonders whether he’s finally come to his senses, but instead he slips up to his elbow, blinks sweetly at Chris, leans in, and kisses him.

Chris freezes. The world goes white for a second, then rushes back too quickly. He’s spent _years_ keeping himself from doing this...and he hadn’t move first, Sebastian had…but...

Suddenly the heat at his side dissipates and he looks up to see Seb sitting a few inches away, rubbing the back of his neck, looking awkward. He’s talking, Chris realizes. 

“...Sorry, I just thought...I guess...I’ve just wanted you for so long, but if you don’t-”

Chris is too shocked to worry about being polite. “Wait a damn second. Wanted _me_?”

“Yeah,” Seb replies softly, almost embarrassed and Chris hates it. 

“But why?” It’s ridiculous really, and fucking overwhelming.

“Why...why what?”

“Why would you possibly want me? Sebastian you’re…” He can feel himself starting to lose his composure, but maybe that’s good, that’s better now. “You’re so fuckin’ incredible. You’re brilliant, and kind, and the best damn friend, and your body...is art, and I’m...I’m just…”

He gestures to himself and he can feel the self-loathing creeping in, regrets asking, he should’ve just kissed back, should’ve-

“You’re a goddamn moron, ok Chris?” Sebastian snorts, smiling now, though still small. “You’re _you_.” Like it’s obvious, the clearest thing in the world. “You’re the nicest fuckin’ guy, you’re so’ good to everyone, you appreciate the shit around you like no real person does, you’re sexy as fuck…” 

Sebastian blushes as his voice trails off, and it’s that, that silly-sweet bodily reaction cracks Chris wide open, soft rose creeping across the cheekbones and neck of a man whose every limb is wrapped in sinew, the perfect metaphor for the walking dichotomy that is Sebastian Stan, and Chris can’t take it anymore. 

He leans forward and reaches out, sliding his hand from Seb’s jaw back into his hair and twining his fingers into it, pulling him forward. 

The moment their lips touch, Chris licks into Seb’s mouth, and Seb opens perfectly for him like it’s all he’s ever wanted. Chris brings his other hand up the frame the other man’s face, but Sebastian turns and crawls right into his lap, straddling his legs, like he’s not six fucking feet tall.

Chris is not complaining.

He’s also not letting go. No way in hell is he letting go. 

Seb’s lips slide slick against his own and Chris hears himself whimper in the back of his throat.The desire to crawl inside another human being is new, but Chris understands now, what people mean when they say that; Seb is pressed to his chest, silky skin and wiry muscle, and the closeness is perfect, better than he’d ever dreamed. Sebastian kisses him desperately, little gasps even more overwhelming because Chris knows how reserved he is with this stuff. 

Chris is getting hard and Sebastian notices, grinds his hips down, and Chris lets out a very undignified sound that he’s a breath away from being embarrassed of, but when he pulls back he sees the expression on Seb’s face.

“What?” he pants.

“Are you even real?” Sebastian mutters, nosing his way behind Chris’s ear, and sucking a mark there. “So fuckin’ sexy.”

“You’re-ah!- one to talk.”

There’s a wicked smile on Sebastian’s mouth as he says, “You think I’m sexy?”

Chris gives a “duh” look in the direction of his obviously interested body part, but Seb just stretches up, using the motion as leverage to slot their pelvises together as he rolls his shoulders out, arching his back. He bats his eyelashes as he says, “Really?”

“Really,” Chris says through clenched teeth, and his hands find their way to Seb’s hips, though whether in an effort to hold them still or roll them again, he’s not sure. 

“You think maybe,” Sebastian drawls as he rakes his fingers down Chris’s chest, “You’re a little biased?”

“Not at all.”

“At all?” Chris shakes his head and Seb bites his bottom lip in that way that he does and says, “You should fuck me.”

Shit. Chris twists his fingers into Seb’s hair and pulls him into a kiss again, and Sebastian twitches his body forward, crying out. “Ah, please Chris! Please.”

“Please what?” Chris growls down against Seb’s lips.

When Seb speaks this time, all composure is lost. “Please fuck me.”

Somehow they get to Seb’s room, but Chris has no recollection of it, just Sebastian’s hands pushing and pulling impatiently at his clothing, and by the time they’re standing naked in the cool air of the room, Chris is so hard he hurts, and it’s worth every moment of heartbreak they’ve ever shared. 

Even though he’s shaking with want, when he steps forward and runs his hands over Sebastian, it’s with reverence and awe as well as lust. “So fuckin’ gorgeous,” he whispers, and Seb smiles shyly before turning to the bedside table to pull out lube.

“Condom?” Chris asks. 

“You clean?”

He nods. 

“Bare, then,” Seb murmurs, then adds, “Wanna feel you,” and Chris kisses him breathless for a moment before Seb shoves him off laughing and opens the lube like he thinks there’s anyway in hell Chris is gonna let him open himself up, and Chris snatches it away. “Hands on the bed,” he orders, and a visible shiver rolls through Seb before he beams and complies. 

It’s more than Chris could ever have asked for, the perfect expanse of tan skin stretched out before him, muscle rolling beneath, and he runs his tongue down the bumps of Seb’s spine while he rolls his fingers through the lube. His clean hand sweeps up Seb’s back, down his side, around his front to brace on his stomach as Chris gently starts working Seb open. 

Little bitten off gasps are all Chris gets for the first few minutes, but at two fingers Seb gives him a moan, at three, a whine, and when Chris slides in, his shout is a goddamn gift. 

“Fuuuuuck, Chris, yes. That’s perfect.”

Chris holds still for a few seconds trying to give Seb time to adjust, but Seb just cants his hips backwards, fucking himself on Chris’s cock, and Chris snaps. He slides his hand up Seb’s back and into his hair, shoving him down onto the bed and thrusting forward in the same gesture. He doesn’t worry if he’s being too rough, Seb is mumbling a begging mantra, and Chris is going to take care of his boy. 

The challenge will be to keep from coming too quickly. Seb’s tight and hot, and the view is exquisite, and Chris alternates between curling over his back and kissing every inch of skin he can reach, and standing up, eyes scrunched tight, overwhelmed. 

“God fucking damnit,” Chris cries as he feels Seb clench around him, and Seb huffs a laugh. “Can't let you have all the fun.”

“Fucker,” Chris grins and snaps his hips harder. 

The good news is that neither of them are going to last long.

As Chris gets close he tugs Seb’s head up by the hand fisted in his hair and Seb cries out. “You like that, sweetheart?” he pants. 

“Yes, yes, please, oh god.”

Chris falls forward and buries his face in Seb’s neck. “I’m gonna come, Seb.”

“Thank fuck,” Seb sobs, and comes violently, head thrown back, clenching over and over, and shuddering, and Chris barely catches himself on the edge of the mattress where he clings, panting his way through his own release.

They crawl onto the bed at some point and Seb cleans them off shakily with a discarded shirt, then Chris pulls him onto his chest and Seb throws the edge of the comforter over them and grins up at him. 

Chris presses a kiss to his forehead and smoothes his hair back. Seb’s eyes are sparkling and gorgeous. “Not bad, old man.”

“Shut it,” Chris gripes with faux sternness. “By like, a year.”

Seb shrugs and chuckles, closing his eyes. “You know I’ve loved you for...ever, right?”

All the air leaves Chris at once. “I thought...but you...no. I didn’t know. Do you know I’ve loved you forever?”

“I hoped,” is all Seb says and Chris just shakes his head. 

“You frustrating, terrifying, incredible man.”

“That might be the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me,” Seb says wryly.

“What about that you’re beautiful?” Chris counters as Seb opens his eyes. “Or hysterical? Or talented?”

“Shut the fuck up, Evans,” Seb gripes into his chest, but Chris can feel him grinning. 

They lay quiet for a long while, Chris gently carding his fingers through the soft hair at Seb’s temples, so long in fact, that when Chris realizes what he hasn’t said yet, he thinks Seb might be asleep, but no, Seb looks up when Chris speaks, and the look on his face is better, more, perfect, and Chris wants to see it everyday for the rest of his life.

“Oh. Hey. I love you, too.”


End file.
